Just saying

Nobody actually knows anything! What seems as knowledge, is but a construct of the human mind itself. It is a manifestation of what seems to be the driving force behind everything. This very driving force eludes us, it is beyond our imaginative capabilities. We, who are in-fact a part of this manifestation,are beaten by the size of it.

The Roots

Chapter-1             
There was nothing, I could not see anything, there was no warmth nor was there any chill, I could not hear anything nor could I feel the silence pressing upon.
My thoughts were my only companion, these too had a strange form of their own, I was not thinking in any language, what I was going through was pure emotion, bouts of happiness, anger, feelings of affection, sadness and many more for which I have no words to describe, these feelings though were not directed at anyone or anything. These waves of emotion took a while to die down, for which I had to focus my concentration on the question of WHERE AM I?
I tried to open my eyes, I wasn’t sure if I even had eyes, I couldn't feel any weight, am I in space? I wondered; my thoughts more concrete. Well, if I were in space how did I get here? to answer that, where was I before this?…WHERE WAS I?
I could feel the weight of an immense consciousness pressing upon me, feeding me these thoughts but I couldn’t connect to it. I could not find any memory. It was a complete void, I had only questions and no answers. But, have I asked all the questions yet?
I tried hard to remember again but to no avail, all the memory I had was that of being in this vacuum,trying to open my eyes and whatever occurred since then. What is left for me to ask?
The answer in the form of yet another question popped up WHAT AM I? The unknown and immeasurable consciousness does seem to help me but in a very limited way of feeding me these thoughts. The thoughts which only raise more questions. As I was thinking, there was a flurry of shapes in-front of me . The shapes were unrecognizable, they did not make any sense they were as good as my void. But I could make out that they were distinct shapes all different from each other.
I kept wondering. I figured it was futile trying to answer these three questions.Oh! three?, now I had an understanding of numbers?, not aware if this was my own knowledge or what is being served to me, I kept counting to see if there was an end until I was disturbed by a jolt. The jolt had almost broken my stream of thoughts. I was now more aware of my being.  I had many thoughts running parallelly now, much of it a blur, some threads of it were constrained and guided, some of them were unbridled and random. I felt the weight of my own conscious it was still miniscule compared to the overbearing one that keeps puzzling me.
There was yet another Jolt, this was stronger, much stronger, the emotions started rippling again. The connection with the consciousness was becoming weaker now. I did not want to be stuck in that formless hollow null again. but what hope do I have? I don’t know where I am?, I don't know where I was? I don’t know what or who I am?, all I had was this particular experience and the one drive to find the purpose of my being.
How did it all start……Eyes…I was trying to open my eyes…..Just as I thought this was a string with which I could answer my questions. The words and thoughts along with any significance they had vanished, the memory of my experience was gone and the connection to the consciousness was severed. I was being pushed out into an abundance of senses, it was an over load, it was too bright and too loud.

X-X-X

To be continued……….

The system and life

In the previous post of mine I had concluded that as long as I am inside the system...a complete understanding of it is impossible....we could be just stones in the mortar of a bigger universe, I thought.
But, one can, without even thinking much, question this statement. Why is it not possible to completely understand the system?....

.....until recently i had been thinking that if X was part of the system that was trying to understand the system then it would ultimately be left with the last piece that is itself 'X' to understand and that it was impossible to understand oneself, hence the knowledge of the system remains incomplete. But that last statement is as good as saying and blindly believing without questioning that "Steve Martin is the next bond hero!!" ......

Now how do I say that it is possible.....well

Say the X in question is divided into infinitesimally small parts (as small as one wants) each part being dx...now there are n number of dx say dx1,dx2,.....now dx1 can understand the rest of X-dx1 and dx2 can understand the rest of X-dx2 so the collective integral of all the dx has a complete understanding.... i.e the collective of dxi's understands itself i.e X understands X.....
(Mind you this proof holds true only if one doesn't question the fact that for somebody outside a system it is possible to understand it, questioning this will lead to a different discussion with the same end result that i have here).

so we can now gaily say that It is possible to understand the system.

And now that we have an enlightened X lets ask it "Ex!,hey Ex! do u know why you are in this system?"

EX Bewildered by this question ....will try and find out about the system that put it inside this system.....(realizing that it was part of a bigger system) and extending the same logic as above it understands this completely and gets bewildered again...and the loop goes on.......


Ultimately what this proves is that a complete understanding of the system is not possible and that is because it is infinite and not for any other reason...... (To be continued)

Unfinished

I exist, I exist, I exist,
Day in and day out I exist
and why I think ,
may be for thinking all day long why I exist?,
though I don't find answers I still exist
and wonder why?

people said..we exist to reach god...
I wonder if god knows why he exists

Does an ant know why it exists?
does a plant know why it exists?

Do you know why you exist?

yet you exist and so do I...
to what end and purpose, knowing not,

puzzling and strange the problem persists,

and what shall happen when I cease to exist and get out of the system.
intriguing the possibilities.......Dire the consequences for the one who loves and cares.
In-spite of all this, get tangled I will in all of life...seeking knowledge seeking joy..not being crazed and unhappy ,as its certain I wouldn't know.


- VISA